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ROUNDS ARCHIVE



By popular request, the rounds archive. Here is found information on the 2008 and 2007 Death-Match competitions, up to this point. Podcast links and detail round results to be added soon. Make sure to cast your finals vote!


 
Yeti
VS.
Hornet
VS.
Wolverine
VS.
Squid
    

2007 Super Animal Death Match Competition

April 11th 2007 through May 9th 2007

  




  
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Telephant

A huge freakin' bull elephant with enormous steel tusks, and a hankerin' for tramplin.' Telephant can teleport at will through an apparatus located on its forehead. Its favorite attack is to appear above opponents with a crushing downward strike.

Weaknesses
  • Cannot teleport indefinitely
  • With bulk, endurance may factor
  



  
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Deathmole

An 8 foot mutant mole with ultra-sharp diamond claws, and staggering bat-like wings (wingspan 10 feet). Deathmole can burrow from one end of the battlefield to another in seconds, with an estimated subterranean speed of 60 mph. Powerful forelimbs also make for deadly weapons.

Weaknesses
  • No armor to speak of
  • Weakest of round contestants
  • Blind?
  



  
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Hippopotopain

A station wagon sized hippopotamus with tire-thick hide. Two inch steel blades cover its skin. It can roll in to a ball and shoot itself 30 mph. Two tusk like teeth and a violent nature make Hippopotopain a dangerous competitor.

Weaknesses
  • Soft underbelly
  • May become dizzy with too much rolling
  



  
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Crablooey

A 3 foot tall, 5 foot wide terrestrial battle-crab. Shell armor provides ample protection. One arm is an industrial chainsaw. Can fire explosive / stun spores from its back once every 10 seconds. Enemies remain stunned for that duration.

Weaknesses
  • Limited to pauses between spore firing
  • Smallest of round contestants
  



 

Preliminary Round

  (The Dance)

July 6th 2008 through July 20th 2008

  



Winners:
(1) Raptor, (2) Tanuki, (3) Yeti, (4) Squid, (5) Wolverine, (6) Manatee, (7) Hornet, (8) Armadillo, (9) Panda, (10) Rhino, (11) Shark, (12) Owl
 

Aardvark
 

Elephant Seal / Walrus
 

Lion
 

Shark
 

Alligator / Crocodile
 

Ferret / Weasel
 

Locust / Grasshopper
 

Sloth
 

Armadillo
 

Frog
 

Manatee / Dugong
 

Slug / Snail
 

Baboon
 

Giraffe
 

Octopus
 

Spider / Tarantula
 

Bat / Vampire Bat
 

Gorilla / Silverback
 

Orangutan
 

Squid
 

Bison / Buffalo
 

Grizzly Bear
 

Owl
 

Tanuki / Raccoon
 

Bull / Dude Cow
 

Hog / Pig / Hogzilla / Bore
 

Panda
 

Tiger
 

Chameleon
 

Hornet / Wasp / Bee
 

Panther / Leopard
 

Turtle / Tortoise
 

Chimpanzee / Monkey
 

Hyena
 

Platypus
 

Unicorn / Pegasus
 

Crow / Raven
 

Jellyfish / Man O' War
 

Polar Bear
 

Wolf
 

Dodo Bird
 

Kangaroo / Wallabee
 

Python / Boa / Snake
 

Wolverine / Badger
 

Dolphin / Porpoise
 

Killer Whale / Orca
 

Rhinoceros
 

Velociraptor
 

Moray Eel / Electric Eel
 

Komodo Dragon / Lizard
 

Scorpion
 

Yeti / Sasquatch



 
Yeti
VS.
Hornet
VS.
Wolverine
VS.
Squid
    

First Round

  (Genesis)

July 20th 2008 through August 3rd 2008

  




  
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The Indomitable Snow Man

A regular sized yeti (roughly 8 ft tall, 400 lbs), with liquid nitrogen blood. Because of unique make-up, body temperature remains below freezing at all times. Sweat freezes immediately and flakes off as snow, becoming a masking cloud. Has a chilling breath, and a hardened, icy consistency. Lastly, will cut own arms, to produce a steady blood flow, then fling own frigid life stream as a dangerous projectile.

Weaknesses
  • Moody and emotionally unstable (he is after all a cutter)
  • Brooding nature often makes for detached, defensive fighting style
  • Relatively slow
  



  
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Hornaztee

A giant hornet, near human size (5 feet long, 7 foot wing span, roughly 250 pounds), with irritable attitude and furious approach. Has large, cutting mandibles in mouth and fierce bite. A quick speed, 6 agile limbs, able to fly almost indefinitely (navigates mostly below the tree line). Multiple stingers (3) protrude its large, transparent abdomen. One stinger is an ultra sharp, piercing blade, great for invading defenses. One delivers a temporarily immobilizing jolt of venom (duration about 15 seconds). Its most dangerous, third stinger plants a pay load of hungry larvae (kamikaze worms more concerned with consuming viscera than their own development).

Weaknesses
  • Smallest of competitors
  • Must hit with each of three stingers to drop larvae payload
  • Dramatically less powerful if flight is compromised
  



  
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Skullverine

A grizzly bear sized wolverine (7 feet tall on hind legs, about a 3/4 ton in weight) so consumed by hatred and thirst for violence that it is unaware of its own death. In its unnatural state, the Skullverine is impervious to pain and unconcerned with damage to its person. To be truly killed, it must be destroyed completely. It experiences an ecstatic battle lust, and becomes increasingly potent as situations turn more dire and hectic. Hard, oversized claws protrude from its four limbs. Powerful charge, and expert ability to stalk opponents. May have been rabid, in life.

Weaknesses
  • Completely reckless towards personal well-being
  • Falls apart with significant damage
  • Horrific smell quickly reveals presence: incapable of stealth
  



  
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Squid Marx

Large, terrestrial squid (almost ten yards tip to tentacles, weighing around 900 lbs), with mounted tank treads. Able to support upper body on tentacles stalks, roll with treads, or use squirt jets of super heated water. Has high internal temperature. Built with WW2 era communist technology. Funnel centered between eyes releases mustard gas like ink. Capable of releasing a napalm'esque burning gel from 2 largest, reaching, hose-like tentacles. Crushing beak. Able to ensnare and slowly strangle opponents.

Weaknesses
  • Can dry out if overly reliant on spray attacks
  • Body is of a softer, fleshier consistency than opponents
  • Can tangle limbs if careless
  



 
Yeti
VS.
Hornet
VS.
Wolverine
VS.
Squid
    

Second Round

  (The Return)

August 4th 2008 through August 17th 2008

  



  
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Sackoon

A large, armored Tanuki mech (manually controlled robot suit), highly invulnerable, and capable of short bursts of flight through jets in sole of feet. Almost 2 tons in weight, Mech stands 10 feet tall. Has two, large shoulder mounted turrets, able to lay down concussive, damaging fire. Large hand held saki bottle contains molten lead, in case of close quarters combat. Mech is piloted by three anthropomorphic Tanuki soldiers, two navigating from Sackoon's testicular compartments, another, the gunner, in Sackoon's detachable head pod. Pilots stand 2 and a half feet tall, and weigh roughly 120 pounds.

Weaknesses
  • Tanuki pilots have tendency to drink on the job
  • Gunner in head often disagrees with pilots in testicles
  • Slow, robotic movement
  



  
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Sanitee

A manatee with massive surplus of gray matter, roughly 6 feet tall, 600 pounds in weight, 350 of that being the brain. Tremendous mind empowers Sanitee with keen intelligence, awesome telepathic strength, and limited telekinetic abilities. Levitates through the air by means of telekinesis, moving in steady, methodical fashion. Uses self sustained trance to deny aquatic nature: own physiology altered via psychosomatic link. Eye contact induces near-instant hypnotic trance. Can force will on opponents, and co-opt their entire person like a puppet. With a prolonged stare, can cause catastrophic aneurysm. A master of mind games, megalomaniac, and future world leader, if his brain rays are to be believed.

Weaknesses
  • No capacity for 'physical' offense
  • Mind's focus limited to one opponent at a time
  • Low defense
  • Debilitating fear of boat propellers
  • Larger political agenda means more to lose
  



  
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Night Owl

A large barn owl (wingspan 8 feet, body 4 feet in length, weighing around 100 pounds), with a dark, pitiless soul. Capable of acrobatic, powerful flight. Has four ultra sharp, tearing talons on each foot. Can channel the power of shadow to distinctive advantage. Can absorb projectiles in to own shadow, as defensive measure, or alternatively, reflect them as a means of offensive. If needed, can briefly (2 seconds) disappear in to shadow 'pocket dimension' as means of evasion. Difficult to target: can obfuscate borders of form, or create temporary shadow duplicates as decoys. Often releases bone-chilling screech, to maintain a nightmarish mystique. Head can rotate 360 degrees. Fastest of round's competitors, and most maneuverable.

Weaknesses
  • Must replenish in shade with use of shadow powers
  • Smallest of round's competitors
  • Effectiveness is greatly diminished if flight is compromised
  



  
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Chronocerous

A huge rhino, with naturally thick, plated hide, about 1.5 tons, 7 feet long. Can charge, trample, and impale with horn, like the average member of its species. Enhanced nature is tied to a unique time distortion mechanism, woven in to Chronocerous's anatomy. Through the beating of his heart, Chronocerous can slightly rewind, or fast forward time within his personal slipstream (an aura surrounding his body, that precedes his current location, and trails it, by a 3 second interval). To an observer, Chronocerous moves in real time, but from his perspective, continuity take on a quantum aspect. He can avoid events and focus attacks by selecting a best path, using his unique foresight. He can rewind mistakes within the 3 second halo, to avoid damage through hindsight.

Weaknesses
  • Because time travel is related to heart-rate, overuse can compromise health. Too much reversing can drop blood pressure to the point Chronocerous faints, leaving him completely prone. Too much future sight and he will have a massive coronary attack, and die.
  • Use of time powers tied to eyesight. If this is compromised, powers become moot
  • With bulk, endurance may factor
  • Only purely terrestrial competitor of round
  



 
Yeti
VS.
Hornet
VS.
Wolverine
VS.
Squid
    

Third Round

  (The Revenge)

August 31st 2008 through September 7th 2008

  




  
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Scraptor

A reconstructed Utahraptor cyborg, about 6 feet tall, 17 feet long, weighing around 1 ton. Scraptor is part living bio-mass, restored to life from a Cretaceous grave with advanced cybernetics, part calculating, heartless death machine. Offensive enhancements include a shoulder mounted laser (gas chamber variety, capable of firing once every 10 seconds), and hydraulic leg muscles, with unnatural precision and leap distance. Mechanical eye allows for thermal views, as well as grid based, topographic diagram of terrain. Defensive enhancements include a detachable grapple arm, and tail mounted blade for retreating, turn-around strikes. As long as systems remain in tact, will never tire. Dangerous natural features include large, specialized toe claws, and vicious bite.

Weaknesses
  • Master controls, located in right lung, must retain full function for continued animation
  • Haunted by waking nightmares of his former pack, and the 'great extinction'
  • May suffer meltdown if confronted with logical inconsistency
  



  
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Armourdillo

A hulking, anthropomorphic Armadillo warrior, whose appearance hearkens back to pre-history. Armourdillo stands at 8 feet tall, and weighs approximately 750 pounds (over 1.25 tons in full garb), with massive shoulders, titanic arms, and corded neck. It is built to withstand copious damage, with thick natural plating supplemented by layers of smithed, metallic armor. By force of will, can curl in to invulnerable, statue like sphere form, with stone consistency, for a brief period of time (5 seconds). Armourdillo has an incredible pain tolerance, savage resolve, and masterful fighting skill. It comes equipped for the death match with a short sword (with spiked knuckle guard and wide, cleaving blade) and a large, double-edged battle axe, which he wields one-handed via elephantine strength. Armourdillo focuses on crushing, brutal strikes.

Weaknesses
  • Short legs and weighty accouterments make for sluggish pace across battlefield
  • Must reach and maintain ball posture for stone-like 'statue' transformation
  • Has lost sight in one eye
  • Is fearful of perceived 'sorcery'
  



  
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Sharkitraz

A menacing, four legged land shark, whose spirit was formed from the hateful aura of the combined murders of Alcatraz Island and set adrift by the closing of that facility. Its dimensions are those of a mid-size white shark, 13 feet in length, about 1.5 tons in weight. Sharkitraz has a wrenching, vice-like bite, punctuated by grinding, movable teeth, replaced as quickly as they are lost. Sharp scales make it abrasive to the touch. It bounds across land with near to the same pace as marine relatives, and is also able to burrow at a shallow depth beneath the earth. It is excited in to a state of frenzy by the taste and smell of blood, which it hones in on like a pit bull.

Weaknesses
  • Must constantly move in order to maintain circulation
  • Being displaced from natural element, has poor sense of hearing
  • Hates, and is thoroughly disoriented by, being whacked in the nose
  • When moving underground, dorsal fin is exposed
  



  
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Pandemic

A lumbering, bipedal Panda blight, standing 6.5 feet tall and weighing 750 pounds. It has a perverted immune system, that flawlessly sustains body function without curing or preventing ailment. As a result, Pandemic carries a phalanx of germs, viruses, and harmful bacteria, easily spread by a constant flow of bodily fluid. This walking plague's vomit is highly corrosive, blinding, precarious as a slipping obstacle, and comes from a seemingly limitless reserve. His cough (sometimes used as a weapon) contains deadly airborne contagions, and his blood is a despicable pollutant, destined to put an attacker who makes direct contact out of action within minutes. Pandemic weakens all opponents over time, and is dominant in wars of attrition.

Weaknesses
  • Poor, blurry vision
  • May loose resolve in periodic coughing fits
  • Generally slow speed of movement
  



 
Evisceraptor
VS.
Hornet
VS.
Wolverine
VS.
Squid
    

The Finals

  (Extinction Level Event)

September 14th 2008 through September 28th 2008

  




  
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Hellaphant

History
A hybrid of 2007 Super Animal Death-Match champion Telephant, with elements of Deathmole, Hippopotopain, and Crablooey.

Size and Appearance
Hellaphant is by far the largest of the Finalists. A mammoth at 6 tons, standing 15 feet tall, Its wingspan of 24 feet. Its trunk has an 8-foot reach.

The Hellaphant has a thick 'tire-like'hide, which is covered with protruding steel blades. It has two metal tusks, four sets of razor sharp, diamond claws, and a diamond tipped steel chainsaw mounted to the end of its trunk.

Movement and Physical Attack
Hellaphant is strikingly mobile for a beast of its size, with four types of movement that also function as means of physical attack. The Hellaphant can teleport itself a quarter of the length of the battlefield at will. In this way it can appear overhead in a instant, barreling down with a crushing attack. It can curl itself in to a ball, and roll forward with supreme menace. It can fly with two pairs of bat-like wings, and displace the earth, burrowing underground. It is known for surprising opponents from above and below.

Hellaphant chops opponents down to size with its claws and saw trunk, or rams them with all the momentum of a passenger train, happily impaling victims on its tusks.

Special Attack
Hellaphant capable of launching exploding spores from six launchers located on its back.

Other Pertinent Features
Apparatus located on forehead directs teleporting and burrowing attacks.

Strategy
Hellaphant is a patient and diligent competitor, who prefers a reactive / defensive approach. It trusts in its size, and throws its full frame in to attacks. Though bestial in its pursuits, it is not unintelligent.

Musical Affiliation
Rock

Video
Spore: Hellaphant - by Pluckylump

Weaknesses
  • Tremendous bulk makes flight labored
  • Cannot teleport indefinitely
  • Endurance may factor
  • Death mole essence weakens eyesight
  • Spores take 10 seconds to reload
  • Soft underbelly
  



  
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Squid Vicious


History
A hybrid of round 1 champion Squid Marx, with elements of The Indomitable Snow Man, Skullverine, and Hornaztee.

Size and Appearance
A tremendous land squid, quixotic in appearance. Squid Vicious's nearest/best description is that of an enormous, flighty spider from outer-space. It has an intensely unique physiology, comprised of three entirely separate circulatory systems, each with unique purpose, and a highly malleable skeletal structure made up of smaller, disconnected bones (provided density and force without hampering flexibility). Weighs just over 2 tons, a staggering 55 feet measured from tip of longest tentacle to crest of its mantle. About 9 feet tall in typical 'standing' position.

Movement
Five of Squid Vicious's tentacled legs are dedicated to movement. It can switch directions, lift up and down, and acrobatically maneuver its mass in perplexing ways. Longest, searching tentacles can latch on to trees and or competitors, pulling the body forward. Posses great strength and is able to leap far distances.

Physical Attack
Main jaws provide a deadly, crushing bite, with insectile strength. His two foremost tentacles, the longest and most traditional in appearance, can be used for ensnaring foes (pad of tentacle have hooked, gripping tentacles), or deflecting attack (bursting forward like a frogs tongue, to misdirect). Five movement-focused tentacles have sharp claws, and can rain down a carving fury at close range.

Special Attack
Its offensive show-stoppers are a pair of gun arms, fed from its hot and cold circulatory systems. One sprays a freezing agent of liquid nitrogen, the other a napalm'esque burning gel. Squid Vicious can easily attend to two opponents at a time, or simultaneously attack multiple points of their frame, with a mad surgeon's malice.

A single stinger like tail arm contains a hungry brood of parasitic young, ready to swim through competitors' insides, laying them to waist.

Can rear back and produce a blinding pepper stray from gullet.

Other Pertinent Features
The third circulatory system and heart of Squid Vicious is of note. It is activates with the failure of the "living" flow of hot and cold systems, producing an unnatural black ichors. This unholy reserve allows for reanimation and a mangled, zombie state. It is not contagious, but will prolong Squid Vicious's existence indefinitely. He is only defeated when his third heart, located at his core is completely destroyed. Squid Vicious can operate brain- free on pure reflex, providing his heart or darkness is intact.

Strategy
Squid Vicious has abandoned the communist ideals of its predecessor, and become a unattached radical, a hate filled worshiper of chaos and oblivion. His worldview contains aspects of nihilism, anarchism, and fatalism, which border on complete delusion: in manic phases, Squid Vicious believes himself the risen, earthly embodiment of Thanatos.

Squid Vicious is without scruples. He cares not for his own well being and wishes for nothing short of the utter destruction of others

Musical Affiliation
Punk

Video
Spore: Squid Vicious - by Pluckylump

Weaknesses
  • Has acquired elements of Skullverine's fiery temperament, making for bouts of blind rage and rash decision-making. Moodiness of Indomitable Snow Man also contributes to an overall affect of utter instability.
  • Flight of Hornaztee is mostly lost, replaced with bounding leaps
  • Horrific smell makes stealth movement near impossible
  • Over reliance on spray attacks can leave Squid Viscous without plasma, fatigued and disoriented, for up to a minute
  



  
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Lucifoul

History
A hybrid of round 2 champion Night Owl, with elements of Sackoon, Sanitee, and Chronocerous.

Size and Appearance
A tremendous bird of prey, with disarming malevolence. Ebony feathers conceal a series of metallic implants. Underlying skin is tough, like hide of a rhino.

Wingspan measures an awe inducing 40 feet. Body is 6.5 feet tall. Weight is a surprisingly heavy 1.5 tons.

Movement
Propelling jets emerging from back, coupled with telekinetic abilities allow for graceful, impossibly adept flight. Lucifoul can stop perfectly in midair, or soar at speeds of 50 mph. Diving speed is nearly twice that, at 80 mph.

Movement on ground is awkward, generally limited to a temporary perch.

Physical Attack
Though its primary means of attack link to mystical/psychic nature, Lucifoul the witching owl is not without means of physical attack. It has two shoulder-mounted turrets, able to lay down concussive, damaging fire, and can also spew molten lead from its mouth. It has powerful, razor sharp talons, and impressive resilience that allows for diving, stabbing beak attacks.

Special Attack
Lucifoul has a, large, hypnotic, staring third eye that allows for pan-dimensional sight. This includes time, and alternate dimensions where certain aspects of the fight may or may not have already happened (observable alternate realities). Lucifoul may enter a personal, private pocket dimension of pure darkness, disappearing in to its shadow.

In addition to its dimensional clairvoyance, Lucifoul has complimentary telepathic abilities. It can invade minds, and paralyze or madden opponents with its sinister will. It is a puppet-master able to use eye contact (preferably with stronger, third eye) to completely control a chosen opponent. At its disposal are numerous forms of mental trickery. The Witching Owl loves to create illusions, such as duplicates, or imagined aspects of its appearance and size, to befuddle opponents. Leagues of percieved shadow minions is another favirote.

Other Pertinent Features
Is able to reflect and absorb projectiles with use of pocket dimension. Though shadow movement ceases when corporeal form leaves battle dimension, it may be used as a launching pad for surprise attacks. Piercing cry unnerves opponents, and deafens at close range.

Strategy
Lucifoul has a genius IQ, easily the most mentally adept of Finals competitors with battle strategy and mind games. It multitasks with awesome proficiency, and uses layers of knowledge gained from near-omnipotent vision to devastating affect. In TheLucifoul's mind, the battle is already over.

Musical Affiliation
Goth

Video
Spore: Lucifoul - by Pluckylump

Weaknesses
  • Smallest of finals competitors
  • Though competent physically, considered weakest of finals competitors in terms of traditional attacks
  • Suffers from a waxing and waning schizophrenic dementia, coupled with dissociate identity disorder. Three distinct, antagonistic personalities may emerge. This inner confusion can be crippling if Lucifoul is otherwise overwhelmed
  • Has pronounced ego
  • Though still able to traverse the air, damage to wings reduces speed and maneuverability
  • Loss of third eye limits psychic / sight based powers
  



  
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Evisceraptor

History
A hybrid of round 3 champion Scraptor, with elements of Armordillo, Pandemic, and Sharkitraz.

Size and Appearance
Evisceraptor shares more with an Allisaurus in stature than his former self. He stands a towering 12 feet tall, is 30 feet long, weighing 3 tons. He is covered in plates of armor, with massive jaws, dangerous claws, scaly, abrasive reptilian skin, and a shark's tale.

Movement
Movement models that of a modern Ostrich. Hydraulic muscles assure size does not affect Evisceraptor's agility; it can travel at speeds of 40 miles per hour, and leap 37.5 ft (25% greater than human capacity). Able to make erratic defensive moves with use of grapple arm, and a master of twitch movements with impeccable balance.

Can burrow under the ground at speeds of 25 mph. Prefers land attacks, due to visibility issues. Known to lie partially buried, launching ambush attacks.

Physical Attack
Metallic lower jaw, and replaceable, moving teeth make for a viscous bite. Slashes with claws on hands and specialized tearing toe claws, made of steel. Tail is partially metallic, and sharpened like an ax.

Special Attack
Posses a variety of ranged attacks. Can fire lasers from robotic eyes, once every 10 seconds. Spews slippery, corrosive, blinding vomit up to 35 feet.

Coup de grace is bite from his toothy maw, which packs a fatal dose of swimming microbes. With full bite, dooms opponent to death within a quarter hour, with debilitating delirium and loss of stamina occurring in seconds.

Other Pertinent Features
Evisceraptor is a cyborg. Composition is mostly organic (about 70%) with thick layers of muscle. Robotic systems, hidden deep within core, control animation. Because they are internal, Scaptaurus Rex is as difficult to fell as a pure organic opponent, with perhaps a slight advantage. Main CPU is neural net processor: a learning computer, grafted to vestigial, reptilian brain.

Robotic eyes allow for thermal views and topographic scans of battlefield. A second lens, accessed by blinking, allows for traditional animalistic perspective.

Unique physiology makes Evisceraptor immune to poisons and all forms of sickness.

Strategy
Evisceraptor is an aggressive and violent competitor, with the endurance to maintain a prolonged assault. He makes moves early, and is tireless in his effort. His targets are dictated by proximity, his attacks by cold logic; a paradoxical combination of feral and synthetic technique.

Musical Affiliation
Speed Metal

Video
Spore: Evisceraptor - by Pluckylump

Weaknesses
  • Only purely terrestrial competitor in finals
  • Lacks opposable digit, unable to wield weapons in the manner of Armordillo
  • May suffer meltdown if confronted with logical inconsistency
  • Must maintain constant body movement in order for blood to circulate